The Love Laser
Transcript (Scene cuts to Shubie, Nancy, Martha and Sadie eating at a restaurant) Sadie: "You'll never believe what happened to me today. One of my customers thought that me and Nat were married! Can you believe it? I had never felt such joy in my entire life than I did when that customer said that." The other women look at her strangely. Sadie: "I mean... that's so weird! Why would that customer ever think that I was married to Nat?" Sadie laughs nervously. Martha: "So are any of you doing anything interesting this weekend?" Nancy: "I wish, but Frank never takes me anywhere. I'm always stuck at home." Sadie: "I wish I could something but the only thing I'll be doing is watching my step-kids." Shubie: "Yeah I wish I could do something too, but the only thing I'll be doing is going grocery shopping. Why do you ask Martha?" Martha: "I just wanted to know if everyone's weekend was as boring as mine will be." The women laugh and a worker turns on a TV. Woman: "Do you wish that your husband took you to more places during the weekend?" Nancy: "Yes!" Woman: "Do you wish that your husband would show you more love and attention?" Martha: "Yes!" Woman: "Are you tired of watching the kids and just want to relax for a while?" Sadie: "Yes!" Woman: "And finally, are you tired of looking at your watch while your boring weekend drags by?" Shubie: "Yes!" Woman: "If you answered yes to any of these questions than you were exactly like I was before I won a free weekend cruise to the Great Barrier Reef for me and my family!" Shubie: "A weekend vacation to the Great Barrier Reef?!" Woman: "You heard me, a free weekend cruise to the Great Barrier Reef!" The TV shows the woman and her family having a great time during the cruise. Martha: "Wow, that woman really has it all." Nancy: "How did she when that free cruise?" Woman: "How did I win this free cruise you ask? It's simple! Just head down to the Barg 'N Mart and sign up for the Kelpo sweepstake challenge. In the challenge, you will compete against others to see who can sell fifty boxes of Kelpo the quickest. The winner will win a free cruise for five people to the Great Barrier Reef! So come down to the Barg 'N Mary and sign up soon because (the woman looks at her watch) time's running out." The advertisement ends. Shubie: "I have to win that challenge!" Martha: "No, I have to win that challenge!" Nancy: "You? You couldn't even bring five people, it would just be you and Tom!" Martha: "We could bring Isabel." Nancy: "No I'm bringing Isabel because I'm going to win!" Sadie: "No I should win because I'm the only one that will actually be taking five people if we take Fred's kids." Martha: "If you take all of Fred's kids, then you'd have six people." Sadie: "Well then we'll just leave one of them at home!" The women angrily run out of the restaurant and towards the Barg 'N Mart. Worker: "Hey! You have to pay for that!" The women throw some money at him. (Scene cuts to the women at the Barg 'N Mart) Debbie: "Here are your boxes. The first person to sell all fifty wins a free cruise to the Great Barrier Reef." Nancy, Martha and Shubie grab the wagons carrying the fifty boxes of Kelpo and run out of the store. Sadie: "Well I guess I'd better start selling these." Sadie grabs her wagon and walks out of the store. Sadie: "Where should I sell these first? Oh, I know the perfect place!" (Scene cuts to Sadie standing in front of a mansion) Sadie rings the doorbell and Patty opens the door. Patty: "Hello? Oh, hi Sadie! What are you doing here?" Sadie: "Well I need to sell fifty boxes of Kelpo to win a free cruise to the Great Barrier Reef and I thought who better to be my first customer than my older sister? How many boxes do you want?" Patty: "Sorry but I already bought three boxes from Shubie. Thanks for the offer though, good luck with the challenge!" Patty closes the door and Sadie walks away. Sadie: "I can't believe Shubie got here before I did! But it doesn't matter because in the end we all know it's going to be me who wins that free cruise!" Sadie walks over to the house next to Patty's and knocks on the door. Woman: "Hello?" Sadie: "Hi, I was going to ask if you wanted to buy any boxes of Kelpo, but as your stomach shows, you've probably have had a little too much Kelpo already and don't want to buy anymore." Woman: "What? I'm not fat, I'm pregnant." Sadie: "Oh well you look pretty fat then. How many boxes would you like?" The woman angrily closes the door. Sadie: "Oh, come on! How was I supposed to know that she was pregnant? Do I look like a psychic or something?" Sadie walks over to the next house and knocks on the door. Woman: "Hello?" Sadie: "Hi, I'm selling boxes of Kelpo for a free cruise to the Great Barrier Reef. Can I interest you in any?" Woman: "Oh, my sons just love Kelpo! I'll take two boxes." The woman's sons walk into the doorway next to her. Sadie: "Yeah, I can really tell that they love it. It looks like they've had a little too much lately." Woman: "Are you calling my children fat?" The woman puts the money she was about to give to Sadie away and closes the door angrily. Sadie(sighs): "I was only telling the truth." Sadie walks over to the next house and knocks on the door. Sadie: "Why is this doorway so large?" A whale opens the door. Sadie: "Oh, that's why. Hi ma'am, I'm selling boxes of Kelpo for a free cruise to the Great Barrier Reef. Can I interest you in any." Whale Woman: "Sure, I'll take five boxes please." Sadie: "That'll be twenty dollars." The whale woman hands her some money and Sadie counts it. Sadie: "What? This is only eighteen dollars! Do you know how to count you fat stupid whale?" The whale woman takes back her money and punches Sadie in the face which causes her to go flying away. (Scene cuts to a montage of Shubie, Nancy and Martha selling a ton of boxes) A table in front of the Barg 'N Mart shows Shubie in first with 32 boxes sold, Nancy in second with 29, Martha in third with 27 and Sadie in last with 3. (Scene cuts to Sadie walking to her house with an ice bag on her from when the whale woman hit her) Sadie looks at her watch. Sadie: "I've sold three boxes in three hours!" Sadie walks into her house and sits down on the couch. Her doorbell rings. Fred: "I'll get it." Fred opens the door. Shubie: "Hi, Fred! I'm selling these boxes of Kelpo so I can win a free cruise to the Great Barrier Reef. Would you like any?" Fred: "Sure, I'll take ten!" Sadie: "What!? She has 42 now! I'll never win this contest!" Fred pulls out a wad of cash out of his wallet and hands it to Shubie. Shubie: "Thanks Fred, have a nice day!" Shubie gives Fred ten boxes and walks away. Sadie: "Wait a minute... that's it! How could I be so dumb before? I married Fred because he's rich so all I need to do is get Fred to buy all the rest of my boxes!" Sadie runs into the kitchen, grabs a check and begins filling it out. Sadie: "A great wife always knows how to forge her husband's signature!" Sadie signs Fred's name on the check. Sadie: "There! Fred just bought 47 boxes from me! Time to go to Barg 'N Mart!" Sadie runs out of her house and to the Barg 'N Mart. (Scene cuts to the Barg 'N Mart) Woman: "Congratulations Sadie! You've just won a free cruise to the Great Barrier Reef! Here are your tickets!" The woman hands Sadie the tickets. Sadie: "Oh, I only need two." Woman: "But the trip's for five people." Sadie: "Yeah, I might as well take all five in case there is five people coming on the way back." Sadie rubs her stomach and walks away. Sadie: "Now all I need to do is convince Nat to come with me." (Scene cuts to Sadie walking her down the street the next morning) A big explosion happens in Harold's garage. Sadie: "What the heck was that?!" Sadie walks inside Harold's garage. Sadie: "What are you doing Harold?" Harold: "I've just finished my latest experiment. I call it the Love Gun!" Sadie: "The Love Gun? How does it work?" Harold: "One shot shoots a laser at a person causing them to instantly fall in love with the first person they see. Observe!" Sadie turns around and sees Martha and Tom passing Sally on the sidewalk. Harold shoots the gun and it hits Tom causing him to kiss Sally on the lips. Harold: "And a second shot gets the person out of thus trance." Harold shoots Tom again and he stops kissing Sally. Sally blushes and walks away, and Martha slaps Tom in the face. Tom: "What?" Sadie smirks. Sadie: "This is the perfect way to get Nat to fall in love with me!" Harold: "What?" Sadie: "I said, can I try this gun out?" Harold: "I'm sorry it's not that I don't trust you, but I don't want this gun to end up in the wrong hands. A lot of things can go wrong when you mess with the power of love." Sadie: "Oh, just give me it!" Sadie tries to grab the gun out of Harold's hands. Harold: "What the..." Sadie accidentally shoots Harold with the gun and he falls into the ground. Harold gets up and sees Evelyn walking by his house causing him to instantly fall in love with her. Sadie smirks again. Sadie: "Perfect." Sadie shoots Evelyn with the gun and she instantly falls in love with Harold. Harold and Evelyn happily run away together. Sadie: "Now it's time to get Nat to finally fall in love with me." Sadie walks outside and sees Fred coming towards her. Fred: "Did you hear an explosion coming from Harold's garage? What the heck was that about? And what on earth is that gun in your hands?" Sadie: "Well... um..." Sadie sees Nancy driving away on her way to work. Sadie: "Hey! What's that over there?" Fred turns around. Fred: "What?" Sadie shoots him with the gun causing him to fall in love with Nancy. Fred runs like a dog after Nancy's car. Sadie: "Well that solves everything! Now it's time for Nat to fall in love with me!" Sadie gets into her car and drives towards Sadie's Cookies. (Scene cuts to Sadie's Cookies) Sadie: "Hi, Nat! I have a big surprise for you!" Nat: "Great! What is it?" Sadie pulls out the gun and shoots him with it. Sadie: "Did it work?" Nat: "Sadie, I... I... I love you!" Sadie: "Perfect! Come here you!" Sadie and Nat hug. Sadie: "Let's get out of here." (Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat watching a movie at the Reef Cinema) Nat: "I love this movie, almost as much as I love you!" Sadie giggles. Sadie: "Oh Nat, stop it!" Sadie snuggles next to Nat and Nat puts his arm around Sadie. (Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat at Fancy!) Sadie: "Oh, Nat what a great life we'll have together. Soon I'll divorce Fred and you'll divorce Shubie, and we'll start a whole new life together. We can even stop working and close Sadie's Cookies once I tell the judge that Fred's trying to cheat on me with Nancy! We'll spend the rest of eternity together forever! We'll have so many children. What will we name them alll? Won't it be great Nat?" Nat: "Of course it will! Without you I'd have nothing. I love you more than anything Sadie, and I never want us to be apart." Nat is about to kiss Sadie, but Sadie stops him. Sadie: "We can't kiss here. It's too public. Let's go back to my house and you can makeup for all the kisses where you were kissing Shubie instead of me." Nat and Sadie get up and walk out of Fancy! holding hands. (Scene cuts to Shubie driving home from work) Shubie pulls into her driveway. Shubie: "That's odd. Why isn't Nat's car parked in the driveway? (Shubie looks at her watch) he should definitely be here by now." Shubie walks over to the front door and sees Sadie's snail in one of her bushes. Shubie: "What are you doing here little guy? Did you get out of the house again?" Shubie picks up Sadie's snail and walks over to Sadie's house. Shubie rings the doorbell. Shubie: "Hello? Sadie? Fred? Anyone there? I found your snail on my lawn again." (Scene cuts to Sadie and Nat in Sadie's house) Sadie: "Let's go into the living room." Sadie and Nat walk towards the living room. While Nat's walking towards the living room he trips on Baby Rechid's binkie and falls down. (Scene cuts to Shubie standing in front of Sadie's house) Nat(from inside): "OWWWWW!" Shubie: "Nat, is that you? What are you doing in the Rechids' house? Hello? Are you okay?" Shubie starts banging on the door. (Scene cuts back to Sadie and Nat inside the house) Sadie: "Nat! Are you okay?" Nat: "Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing will ever stop my burning love for you." Nat goes to kiss Sadie. Sadie: "Oh Nat, you don't know how long I've waited for this moment." Nat and Sadie are about to kiss, but Shubie knocks down the door. Sadie accidentally shoots the Love Gun and a laser hits Nat causing him to not be in love with Sadie anymore. Sadie: "What the barnacles?!" Shubie: "What are you two doing? And isn't that the Love Gun Harold was building?" Sadie: "How did you know about that?" Shubie: "Because he told me about it when I sold him a box of Kelpo yesterday. Oh my gosh! I know what you two were doing!" Sadie: "It's not what it looks like!" Shubie: "You shot my husband with the gun so he could be your personal butler!" Sadie: "What? Uh, yeah that's exactly what happened. Please don't tell anyone about this! I'll do anything!" Shubie: "Anything? Well you won that Kelpo contest right?" Sadie nods her head. Shubie: "Well if you give me those tickets for the free cruise, I won't tell anyone about this." Sadie(sighs): "Fine." Sadie hands Shubie the tickets. (Scene cuts to Shubie, Nat, Susie and Baby Billy relaxing on the cruise ship) Nat: "It was nice of you to let Sadie come with us on this cruise." Shubie: "Yeah, I guess it was the right thing to do. Hey! Keep going! This pedicure isn't going to do itself!" Sadie(sighs): "Okay." Sadie continues to give Shubie a pedicure, and Shubie hands her Baby Billy. Shubie: "He needs a diaper change." Sadie grabs Baby Billy and begins to change his diaper. Sadie: "How long until this stupid cruise is over?" Shubie looks at her watch. Shubie: "Only a little more than a week." Sadie sighs and continues to change Baby Billy's diaper. (Scene ends) Category:Episodes Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:HippoHead Category:2017